What’s REALLY Real?


The one thing that I love about being black is the culture of language, and how we express ourselves. It’s not that other cultures don’t have their ways either, because globally we’re built on these phrases and words that connects people at so many levels. Within that black community we could use words like “bitch” or “hoe,” and through tone and cadence… could break into myriads of emotional descriptors. Phrases that makes up the epitaph of the black experience that defines us as the growing force that fuels everything within style, media, and culture.

So where am I going with this? Well nigga let me tell you! See what had happen was… I came to this grand conclusion, that “we don’t want real“. To give a better understanding, we have these invisible rules of what “real” is, and being real is the black experience. Real is not being a sucka. Real is doing real nigga shit. Real is being woke. Real is living your truth. Yet the one thing that I’ve notice is that, “we only want real, when real works in our favor“. Lets that sit for a moment (because I had too), but we’re in the shit now. I used to be apart of the dating website Okcupid.com, and like any matchmaking data infused numbers dating site…. It had various ethnicities of beautiful women from everywhere across the world. Yet the one common thread that I’ve noticed with these women’s profiles, is that a good 84% had the phrase “No games, and be real!,” which (some) men guys can be on some bullshit (hell I be on some bullshit, but I digress), so I understand. Yet with MY experience of women I’ve dated, I love hearing their phrases of honesty like “if you don’t want to date me, just let me go” or “I only want serious commitment,”  only to just fade away after a few conversations… which those things have probably happened to them. (some) Men have been “smash & dashing” since what feels like the dawn of man,” and it can leave the hearts of women pretty jaded. But the point that i’m trying to make is that we’re both not without fault, and if we can’t live our own words…. what can we at least do to change it?

Honestly, be real with yourself. I feel you have to be 100% to get 100%, because that’s the bases of a good foundation for anything. Yet we have all these factors that affects the judgement of our own happiness, like society deems women that’s 30 and above need to married at that age. Men are molded to go to college, have a family with kids, and live this pressurized dream that this is success. A woman’s importance isn’t based off of marriage, and men aren’t based off of their material value. Your happiness and building solid relationships are the most important thing that you can do for yourself, but with romantic relationships it can be hard and a lot of trial and error. Just work at it, keep working at it and stick with it, but I understand sometimes you gotta fall back in order to progress forward. I’m not the prime example of what to do or how to do it, but I can show you on what not to do.

In conclusion does “real” exist? Yes, but only when you stop letting the pressures cloud what make you happy and you start doing things your way. Y’all quit being fake with living to these standards that don’t make you happy, because whats living if you’re not happy? Be an adult as stop giving a fuck (to a certain degree), and just live. Also learn to communicate, it will save your fucking life!

 

[Insert deep ass quote]

Not that I’m stupid, we’re just deeply rooted.”

-Kelby

 

 

Just “Face” It.

I was asked by a friend:

Why do guys like to cum (ejaculate) on womens faces?

Well to my lovely dismay it was an interesting question, because I’ve never done it and I never had the urge to do it. Honestly I didn’t know that this happened outside of porn, and that it’s a thing that some women & men want. I found it funny, because in my own dating experience it’s been hard trying to bargain with some of my ex’s over little things… I couldn’t even fathom asking them to catch my “seed” on their face, and now that I think abo- let’s not judge.

Alright let’s break this shit down, get it figured out, and I’ll give the best answer possible. So why is this a thing? Well it’s an act glorified through porn. If you watch a lot of porn, it could feed into the “three L’s,” of sexual desires, lust, love, and like. To further explain we may like a sexual act from a visual or experienced standpoint, we could also lust for a sexaul act to be done to us, or want to fulfill our desires with someone. Also the person considering either taking or giving, could see that performing this act is a labor of love (I know some labor, right?). Anyhow emotions + sexual desires = freaky shit, and if done  with the wrong person, those three L’s can turn into losses.

So is the labor REALLY worth it? That’s up to you! I mean porn is a billion dollar industry with a myriad of hours dedicated to the many genres and subgenres, which means it’s a lot of cum just free flowing (OMG). Yet it’s not about the money, because it’s about finding that one man or woman that you can do nasty shit with on a regular basis. IF you find that person who’s down for all the nasty shit, you better “shoot your shot!” But whether it’s your thing or not, please practice safe sex. Also make sure y’all both clean (outside and inside). Eat food. Sleep. Have nasty sex. Love.

 

[insert deep ass quote]

“peace to the planet, and live awesome!”

-Kelby

I’ve Been Lying

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I’ve been lying. I thought that I could keep this blog about all these nerdy things going, just to be like all the various other nerd blogs. Though nerdy shit interests me a lot, I’ve realized that it doesn’t make me an honest writer. I want this as an outlet for my brutally honest answers to all these questions that keeps me awake at night, and I want you (the reader) to feel we’re on this journey together. So where  do we go from here?

Admitting to YOU that I’ve been lying.

I want you to understand it’s going to get dark (not all the time), but it will get dark. I have questions, and will ask questions that we’ll tackle together (or read about me tackling). These ways that might not be suitable for all, and I might even make some enemies (which I don’t give a fuck). Because my goal is to deliver deep experiences of personal perspectives and narratives that we’ve had at times, and I’m going to have to get graphic in order for you to feel my stories. I want to mention that this is new territory, and I won’t just be saying things to say them…. but where “fuck” is needed, I will say “fuck“.  As growth and discovery happens for myself, I want more about black culture, the rules of gender, and these invisible boxes that makes up our society. I’m not “reinventing the wheel,” but I do want to understand why the wheel is a wheel, why it rolls, and why we need it to roll.

Besides my rambling about about the “wheel” and “lying,” I am gonna get shit crackin on these posts a lot more! I’ve had some interestingly weird ass question asked, and plus some horribly great stories. Beside that I might occasionally write about some shit that shows “professionalism,” or just write shit in a professional manner….meh.

 

[Insert deep ass quote]

 

“peace to the planet, and live awesome.”

-Kelby